I blog for me

I haven't wanted to post. There is plenty going on and plenty I could tell you about, but I haven't wanted to hurt feelings or get feedback on some of my thoughts.

Over the last month I've been to a parole hearing, been to a funeral, been dealing with a devious and manipulative parent, become reunited with a cousin and been contacted by my half brother after 20 years.

The hardest of all the issues this last month was the devious parent and the half brother re-appearing.

The issue with the parent is once again my mother stirring up the pot. The story I'm told is that she is manipulating my brother who has been in prison the last 7 months. She contacted the case manager at the prison and informed the case manager that upon release my brother had no place to go. My mother managed to convince my brother to sign guardianship of himself to her in exchange for getting him back to Washington after his parole release tomorrow. My mother also took the time to tell the case worker that my brother giving her guardianship is something they have discussed for some time and its the natural progression to my mother being given guardianship of my brother's children.

OK. Stop. WTF is this woman allowed to talk to the case manager? Why is she STILL trying to get a hold of my nieces? Why is she contacting the prison case manager? Is her shit NEVER going to stop? She is in no way helping my brother. She is conning him into getting what she wants. This woman is vile. She is a pathetic show of a human life. I'm sick and tired of her and her antics. I'm exhausted from dealing with her. I wish that my brother and sister could be strong enough to completely cut her out of their life like I have. She does not deserve the title of mother.

My brother is being released from prison tomorrow. I'm taking a day off work to go pick him up and get him to the airport. I bought his plane ticket home. And I'll make sure he has a relaxing day out of prison until he meets up with his wife and children. And you can bet I will have words with my brother about this guardianship and the poisonous relationship with our mother. It is time she is cut off. I only hope he is smart enough to see it. I may have to cut off the relationship with my siblings if they continue to have relations with our mom. Its too hard for me to have a "normal" life and get roped into their drama over and over and over again. I want to help but sometimes walking away and saving yourself is the only help you can give.

As for the half brother..... Its been 20 years since he's been in my life. I was told his mother kicked our dad out and filed for divorce. And essentially they were never heard from again. Thanks to the joyous creation of Facebook he found me, my sister and my brother. I won't go into a ton of detail there, thats another blog post in itself, but 3 of my cousins could be my step-siblings thanks to Facebook bringing people together. Let me refocus - back to the half brother. He seems like a good kid. Seems normal. Seems to want to have a sibling relationship. He's been really excited to contact me and asking me a lot of questions to get to know me. I haven't replied. I don't know that I want to. Maybe in a couple weeks or months I will. But right now I feel a little overwhelmed dealing with my brother and sister and the emotions and memories being stirred up and sent to the surface by mother's latest actions.

Thats a lot to handle! And remember, I didn't even explain all thats been going on. Its not been easy. I make no apologies for my thoughts. I blog for me. Read if you want. Or don't. I'll still be here writing about my world.