Down, but not out

Have you ever watched a boxing match? You know when one fighter just punches the other fighter so hard that it causes them to hold their stomach as they fall to the mat? Today, I felt like the fighter who was punched. And it hurt.

I applied for a new job at work. I thought I was the best, most qualified candidate. In fact, I still do. And yet I wasn't the candidate offered the job. And to top it off the candidate chosen thinks I'm the better choice. Yeah, another gut punch.

I'm mad. I'm deflated. I feel thoroughly let down. I feel like I failed.

And today being Wednesday, I had little sister time right after work. So instead of going home and crying and climbing into bed until tomorrow like I wanted, I couldn't. Instead I cried in the car and called my Aunt. And then picked up Pili and went to pick up my little.

For tonight's activity, we went to the dog park and had a picnic of cheese pizza. It felt good to laugh at Pili running around the park and jumping in and out of the water. It was good to talk to my little and laugh at her laughing at the excited dogs who came to the park after us. And it felt amazing when she told me she liked me more than her last big sister, and that she likes how much I talk to her and that I want to know about her life. She even told me she likes how we do so many fun things and she likes that I want to spend time with her.

I wanted to cry, but smiled. Her timing couldn't have been more perfect. And then I realized while I lost the promotion, I matter to a child. Seems like a fair trade for such a disappointing day.