A Broken Limb on the Family Tree

Its been 4 days since my sister died. My sister is dead. That's a weird reality that still hasn't quite set in. And I'm mad at her. I'm mad at her for dying and being so close to my mom before she died. I'm mad at her for leaving and now I've got to say goodbye to her along with my mom. I'm mad at Cyl for marrying a man that is an ex-con that I have to share saying goodbye to her with. I'm mad at her for being her mother's daughter and not breaking the cycle.

I'm mad because I miss my sister. We fought. We didn't always agree. But we always had each other's back. Nobody stood up for me faster or better than my sister. Nobody supported my crazy plans more than my sister. Nobody was prouder of me than my sister for going back to school.

She made me crazy how she was always such a hothead, but I always admired how she said exactly what was on her mind. You always knew where you stood with Cyl. When I brought Miss P home Cyl was my roommate. Miss P was so sick that first weekend and almost died. My sister was with me at the vet when we left the sick puppy, and she was the one that picked Miss P up early so I didn't have to get her from the vet, and instead came home from work to a happy, sleepy puppy.

I can't bring her back. I can't change that she's gone. I'll see her again. She's free from her bad marriage. She's free from my mother's manipulation. She's free from the health issues that took her too young. She's one more angel watching over me. These things help me not be so mad.