Like everyone else in the world I have a Facebook profile. I've been on for a couple few years now. In the beginning I resisted being on. I just didn't see the point. I didn't refuse to join, but I just didn't see a need for it.
Now, however my favorite thing about Facebook is staying in touch with my family members. Its so nice to see pictures from their trips and events and be able to keep up on what they're up to. A couple of my cousins are stationed overseas and its so convenient to post a note on their wall rather than deal with talking on the phone in the right time of day that we're both awake.
I also enjoy meeting people I talk to but never see. Often times with my work I talk to suppliers and end-users at the mine but I never see them. If they are on Facebook we can be friends and see who we're talking to and get to know each other a little more.
As great as Facebook is for keeping in touch I do find it provides me opportunities to re-connect with people I've lost contact and would be fine continuing to no longer contact. I'm flattered that these lost friends (some now enemies) have taken the time to look me up and want to re-connect. But, I don't feel the need to re-connect. I'm not a dog that returns to its vomit. Sometimes its ok to just stay gone.
Most recently I had a friend request from an old friend who was most certainly my enemy when we last spoke. A now considered frenemie if you will. She was a friend when I was dating a now ex-boyfriend. The boyfriend was cheating on me and my friend knew and didn't tell me. I talked to my friend about my concerns about the boyfriend because I had suspected he was being unfaithful. I even admitted to her I'd been snooping in his phone and belongings to get details to confirm my suspicions. She again didn't warn me, but told the boyfriend what I had revealed to her.
As a side note I don't find snooping in other people's things to be a good thing. It is not a habit of mine and I realize I shouldn't have done it. Communicating with the cheater directly would have been more wise. And I did talk to him a couple days later and our relationship ended immediately after the chat.
Maybe I'd feel less conflicted if the frenemie apologized. My phone number hasn't changed in almost 8 years and I've never once heard from her until the Facebook friend request this week.
It has been nearly 7 years since I've talked to the frenemie. People change. I am for sure not the same person I was 7 years ago and I'm sure she is not either. However, I'm not sure I want or need this person as a friend in my life. I've lived almost 7 years without her and I feel I can live 70 or so more without her.
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
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3 comments:
When I was in 6th grade I was bullied by a girl named Lalaine. She always made fun of the way I walked and called me a nerd etc...so on. Well a while ago I found her on facebook and because you can't see their profile unless your friends I had to add her. I wanted to know how she turned out. She wrote on my wall: "Oh my gosh Ness! How are you? It's been such a long time! We had such good times. Remember when...." etc Funny how she thought we were FRIENDS! I can't believe how some bullies can have such rose-colored glasses on.
I'm convinced it's purely a numbers thing for some people. I get friend requests from people in high school who I'm sure I've never spoken to -- who, after I add them, don't make an attempt to contact me. I used to go through and purge all these people after a few days of adding them, just because I got some sick pleasure out of deleting them. Now it's too much trouble.
Ness - Rose colored glasses for sure! Wow! I can't see you being bullied.
Jer - sick pleasure or not I kind of like that. But I agree, adding to then later delete just isn't worth the effort.
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